Be Honest With Yourself; Parenting Can Be Exhausting - How to Balance A “Work-Home” Life!
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent.
So just be a real one!”
~ Sue Atkins
Balancing work and home life can be challenging. How does ANY parent get through the day? To be a successful parent, checking in with yourself throughout the day is essential. I teach my clients a four-step process using the acronym HALT, which I learned many years ago. This word is a great way to remember to stop, feel, and listen to where you are BEFORE things get out of balance.
HALT=
H: Hungry
A: Agitated
L: Lonely (and Lost)
T: Tired
Hungry? Do I need to eat? Am I reaching for unhealthy foods?
When I find myself reaching for another cup of coffee or something with sugar in it, I know that my tank is empty. I am ignoring my feelings or just simply not wanting to look at what I need to do for myself first. Remember that your nutritional needs are as important as your child’s—your diet is very important. Keep a food journal for those stressful times. Remember that you have choices!
Am I angry or agitated?
Being over-scheduled keeps us from stopping and feeling, which suppresses our ability to feel when we are snappy and angry. Are you answering your children’s questions with short, snappy answers? Take a deep breath when your child asks you a question for the “tenth time.” Breathing is a great way to be more present with your loved one. Schedule a time-out during the day for yourself. Time out for yourself will create a way to feel your body and balance your needs.
Am I feeling lonely or lost?
Do you have a hobby or time out with friends? Do you have someone with whom you can share and confide without feeling misunderstood or judged? Be honest. Call a friend and let them know you need to vent. You may need someone to hold a calm and caring space while you walk through it.
Tired?
It is important to get sleep to be solid and present. Have you gotten enough? Can you make time for a short cat nap between dropping off the kids and picking them up? Do you push yourself when you know you need to rest? Do you have planned rest time? Are you staying hydrated and getting daily exercise?
Most parents need to realize that perfection is not an option and that trying to be perfect is an immense waste of time and energy. Doing your best in any situation with your children is the most respected and reasonable thing you can do. Remember to HALT! I have found that parents who ask for support do their best to balance their work life. So, be easy on yourself, and don’t let “perfect” be the enemy of “good enough.”