How to Get What you Really Need!

How to Get

What You

Really Need!

The Peninsula Woman

Sept-Oct 2005

 It is better to have it and not need it

Than to need it and not have it.

~Gerard Patrick Roeling

We all have needs. From the moment we are born into this world, we need love, guidance, and attention. As children, we rely solely on others to help us learn about, understand, and fulfill our needs. Depending on your early childhood environment, your needs were either 1) attended to and fulfilled, 2) fulfilled somewhat, or 3) your needs were not fulfilled at all. Your childhood experiences provided a foundation for how you learned to negotiate, accept and finally receive what you needed.

 If you were raised in a household where you learned how to identify, negotiate and accept your needs with others, this would have helped you get what you need later in life. On the other hand, if you were raised in a household where you did not learn to identify your needs, you might have learned: "I don't have needs," or "why even ask, my needs will never be met." These are two extreme experiences, and your experience may lie somewhere in between these. 

Needs Versus Neediness

A need is something urgent to us. It is defined as: "something required to succeed or achieve something." As babies, we experience our first "need" through food. Food helped us to grow. As babies, that is a priority! As we get older and our survival needs are taken care of, another level of "need" emerges. These needs are deeper and more psychologically based. A need is something you cannot live without. Getting your needs met brings meaning, purpose, and direction to your life.

At the psychological level, when we do not get our needs met, it can lead to the feeling of being deprived—feeling deprived results in neediness. Deprivation can also lead to intense depression. The urgency of our needs not being met builds a reservoir inside that, when not attended to, can lead to feeling stuck, unmotivated, and worthless—deprivation results from the act of suppressing the fundamental things that may help us. Without this, we cannot lead a fulfilling and satisfying life. This is why it is essential to examine our needs and learn how to negotiate to get them met.

What tool can I use to identify what I need?

As an Astrologer, I use your Horoscope, which is based on the date, time, and place of your birth. This chart provides a tremendous amount of information about you. In an Astrological Chart, your "needs" is shown through the placement of the Moon.

The Moon's placement can help you understand what your "reigning need" was when you were born. For example, if you were born with your Moon in the sign of Leo, your "reigning need" is having fun, playing, and being creative. Leo Moon people also "need" lots of attention. It's nice to know this because if you have a Leo Moon, you will see that you need to have love and attention. You will be helping yourself to "fulfill" your needs!!!

On the other hand, if you have your Moon placed in the sign of Capricorn, your "reigning need" is to be self-sufficient, responsible, and take authority in your lives. Imagine someone giving you a job to do! You will want to get it done and do it with integrity. You will also need a lot of solitude. 

How can I get my needs met?

If you were not taught to identify and express your needs as a child, it is crucial to be able to do this. The primary tool for getting your needs met lies in your ability to communicate and your ability to negotiate. Communication is "the ability to give or exchange information," and negotiation is "the attempt to agree on something through discussion and compromise. 

Sound easy? Well, it is! It may not be easy initially because you might not think anyone will listen, but I guarantee that once you start communicating, this is the first step toward getting your needs met. 

The Final Tool you will need!

Remember that saying? "Careful what you ask for – because you might just get it." Well, it is true! The last and most important tool that you will need is Acceptance. Once you have learned what your reigning need is, you have communicated and negotiated for it; now, you must accept and receive it! Receiving takes love and faith that you are worth what you say you need. Whether that is having joy and playfulness, like the person with their Moon in Leo, or having responsibility like the person with their Moon in Capricorn, you can have everything you need. 

If you are reading this article, have email abilities, and would like a free sample of your astrological chart with a brief description of where the Moon is in your chart, email me: amber@amberflynn.com. Reference my website in your email. I will email you your chart FREE OF CHARGE. Or contact me at (760) 479-2356 https://www.amberflynn.com