the Zodiac

Penninsula Woman

Jan – Feb 2004

There is no salvation for the Soul

but to fall in Love.

It has to creep

and crawl among

the Lovers first.

~ Rumi

The most common questions I receive as an Astrologer are about Love and Relationship.

The Ancient Greeks defined Romantic Love as an experience that consists of both pleasure and pain.  They called it “Eros.”  They also believed the experience of love occurred through some outside force, which in most cases was in the “act of a god.”   The word Eros also meant “want,” “lack,” and “the desire for that which is missing.”  

In romantic love, lovers want “what they think they do not have.” This makes it impossible for someone to “get what he wants.”  As he gets what he wants, it is no longer wanted. Are you following me? As a result Eros is a major contradiction that creates a tremendous amount of tension in the deeper part of the psyche. If getting satisfaction ends the excitation of the desire for that which is missing, or the Eros, isn’t the recourse to attempt to prolong the moment of desire for what you think is missing for as long as possible? Inevitably all relationships under the influence of Eros will be a failure. So much for romantic love!

From my experience, the real power of love is not in the “lack,” or “wanting” which maintains and prolongs desire, but in the connecting to a sense of mutual desire. The entire tradition of “Eros love” fails to bring human beings together. What we need is a tool to help connect us back to knowing what we need at the soul level.  We need a tool to show us how to get what we really want.  With that tool in place we can then find someone who wants the same thing. This is where Astrology can be helpful. 

The planetary body Venus in your astrological chart can help to answer these questions.  Mars can also helps us to locate our souls wants and desires, but Venus speaks of what qualities we absolutely NEED in our loved ones to grow spiritually.  Venus is the first helpful tool in finding out what qualities we really need in a potential love partner.

Focusing on Venus in your chart and discovering the sign, house position, and other aspects can shed even greater light on understanding your unique experience of love. Ignoring Venus is like turning away from a part of our soul that desires the most profound experience in life, the experience of love!

Venus’ sign placement gives us an indication of what the person’s needs and what he or she finds truly attractive. Each sign has it’s own mythic flavor. For example, if you have Venus in Aries you have “the need” to assert your will and instinct in your relationship and also need someone who can do the same. Taurus has the need for sensual pleasure and earthly simplicity. In Gemini Venus portrays the desire to be the messenger and has a need for communication in relating. Cancer “feels” and displays a connection of love through mothering and nurturing others. Venus in Leo has the loyalty of the lion, and gives her heart to all she loves. Venus in Virgo shows love through selection and discrimination. In Libra it has a need for beauty, balance and refinement in their partners.  InScorpio the needs intensify and depth to merge completely with another is necessary. Sagittariushas a need for a partner who longs for adventure and the unknown. Venus in Capricorn loves success and accomplishment and needs a partner willing to build relationships on a strong foundation. Venus in Aquarius will look for freedom, ideals and friendship. And finally, Venus in Pisces hopes for romantic love, the kind of love that brings true union with the divine. 

Through the eyes of an experienced and professional astrologer he or she can guide you to understanding your Venus in your chart. How does your heart open to another? What do you really need? Venus can create a sense of mutual desire and ultimately lead to a life long relationship.  Isn’t that what we really want?