How to Get
The Peninsula Woman
Sept – Oct 2005
It is better to have it and not need it
Then to need it and not have it.
~Gerard Patrick Roeling
We all have needs. From the moment we are born into this world, each of us need love, guidance and attention. As children we rely solely on others to help us learn about, understand, and fulfill our needs. Depending on your early childhood environment, your needs were either 1) attended to and fulfilled, 2) fulfilled somewhat, or 3) your needs were not fulfilled at all. Your childhood experiences, provided a foundation for the way in which you learned to negotiate, accept and finally receive what you needed.
If you were raised in a household where you learned how to identify, negotiate and accept your needs with others, this would have helped you later in life get what you need. If you were raised in a household where you did not learn to identify your needs you may have learned: “I don’t have needs,” or “why even ask, my needs will never be met.” These are two extreme experiences and your experience may lie somewhere in between these.
Needs Versus Neediness
A need is something that is urgent to us. It is defined as: “something required in order to have success or achieve something.” As babies we experience our first “need” through food. Food helped us to grow. As babies, that is a priority! As we get older and our survival needs are taken care of, another level of “need” emerges. These needs are deeper and more psychologically based. A need is something you cannot live without. Getting your needs getting met brings meaning, purpose, and direction to your life.
At the psychological level when we do not get our needs met it can lead to the feeling of being deprived. Feeling deprived results in neediness. Deprivation can also lead to intense depression. The urgency of our needs not being met builds a reservoir inside that when not attended to can lead to feeling stuck, unmotivated and worthless. Deprivation is the result of suppressing the very fundamental things that help us to lead a fulfilling and satisfying life. This is why it is so important to examine our needs and learn how to negotiate getting them met.
What tool can I use to identify what I need?
As an Astrologer I use your Horoscope, which is based on the date, time and place of your birth. This chart provides a tremendous amount of information about you. In an Astrological Chart your “needs” is shown through the placement of the Moon.
The Moon’s placement can help to you to understand what your “reigning need” was at the time you were born. For example, if you were born with your Moon in the sign of Leo, your “reigning need” is in having fun, playing, and being creative. Leo Moon people also “need” lots of attention. Its nice to know this, because if you have a Leo Moon you will just know that you need to have love and attention. You will be helping yourself to “fulfill” your needs!!! On the other hand if you have your Moon placed in the sign of Capricorn your “reigning need” is to be self-sufficient, responsible and take authority in your lives. Imagine someone giving you a job to do! You will want to get it done and do it with integrity. You will also need a lot of solitude.
How can I get my needs met?
If you were not taught as a child to identify and express your needs, it is important to be able to do this. The primary tool for getting your needs met lies in your ability to communicate and your ability to negotiate. Communication is “the ability to give or exchange information” and negotiation is “the attempt to come to an agreement on something through discussion and compromise.
Sound easy? Well, it is! It may be difficult in the beginning because you might not think anyone will listen but I guarantee that once you start communicating, this is the first step toward getting your needs met.
The Final Tool you will need!
Remember that saying? “Careful what you ask for – because you might just get it.” Well, its true! The last and most important tool that you will need is Acceptance. Once you have learned what your reigning need is, then you have communicated and negotiated for it, now you must accept and receive it! Receiving takes love and faith that you are worth what you say you need. Whether that is having joy and playfulness, like the person with their Moon in Leo, or having responsibility like the person with their Moon in Capricorn, you can have everything you need.
If you are reading this article, have email abilities and would like a free sample of your astrological chart with a brief description of where the Moon is in your chart email me: firstname.lastname@example.org. Reference my website in your email. I will email you your chart FREE OF CHARGE. Or contact me: (760) 479-2356 and (800) 479-7923 https://www.amberflynn.com